an excerpt from my diary

Maisha Kazi

Tuesday, March 28th, 2023

I hate this. I hate journal writing, to be quite honest.

I hate that there is a physical embodiment of the thoughts and feelings that I encompass in fleeting moments in time and transitional periods of thought.

I hate this.

I am a fluid human being.

My emotions, thoughts, and feelings crash over me like waves.

I am a victim of both high tides and low tides.

I am a victim of what is simply the natural world.

I am natural.

I am an ever-changing being.

I wish to erase the past as I refuse to live in cycles.

I aspire to grow.

I aspire to grow with no skills, no handbook, and no guidance as to how to go about it.

I am a human being.

I thrive off of the human experience, turning moments of pain into life lessons to know how to never be hurt again. To learn how to not repeat my mistakes.

I take my own experience as guidance,

as I have never had someone to serve as my emotional compass.

Within the fibers of a paper and the ink of my pen.

This is the one place I am respected.

Paper doesn’t talk back. Paper doesn’t belittle me. Paper doesn’t make me feel small.

Paper empowers me. Paper has only ever given me a voice.